Stop Telling Yourself You Need More Time
“I’ll do it after lunch”
I've made a really decent morning routine for myself. I do everything I want to do, maybe not as quickly as I would like to do it, because hey, ADHD exists! My afternoons, on the other hand, are a different ball game!
In the morning, on a day when I have no commitments in the afternoon, I'll tell myself that today, I'll do the creative thing after lunch.
However, I tell myself "I just need to do X first". What "X" is is anyone's fucking guess, but you can bet your arse it ends up being something highly insignificant and time-wasting!
I feel somewhat ashamed to say it, considering my stance on digital overwhelm, but sometimes it'll involve the fact I've picked up my iPad to genuinely look something up and instead I've ended up going down a rabbit hole on how many different species of dinosaur have been discovered (there's roughly 1,200 types which have been named, depending on which source you look at!).
A significant chunk of time goes by and I'll catch myself, I'll slap my own wrist and continue doing the thing I've got to do before I can be creative... only by the time I've finished doing that, I've realised I've only left myself with 45 minutes for creative stuff, which isn't enough. Cue massive amounts of general annoyance and shame. The cycle repeats until I eventually convince myself I didn't want to be creative in the first place, because I just don't have the time!
Apparently, I do have the time
Recently, especially since my official ADHD diagnosis back in June, I've been trying to unpack what points of friction are stopping me from doing things I want to do and therefore why I just can't seem to get the ball rolling. Friction can be a problem for people without ADHD too, but for me, if there's even one hump in the road between me and "the thing", I'm noping out.
See, I end up filling my time with shit that - when I really think about it - can wait until another time. It's usually low-energy stuff too, which means I'm wasting the time of day when I feel MOST energised doing boring, mundane crap that can wait until the evening!
Let's face it, housework will always expand to fill whatever time you have; there's always something that needs doing. Therefore, if I wait until I have free time to be creative, I'll never fucking be creative!
So, I've had to do something which actually rubs me the wrong way - put my own needs before the housework. That doesn't mean to say that I've let my house descend into filthy chaos, just that, for a few hours a week, my creative pursuits take priority.
I've spent so fucking long wanting to make something, to put myself out into the world, and I'm constantly frustrated that I'm not doing it. Since I've made changes to my routine elsewhere, I know I'm capable of changing this particular unproductive cycle. I just need to kick my own arse a little. Something has to change.
I've dedicated time in my day to habits I now cherish: reading, Pilates, walking... So, I've decided to do the same with my creative work - give it a dedicated time in my routine. I now have two solid afternoons a week when I let the housework take a back burner. I've even given myself backup times as an emergency fallback.
Give it a place in my routine
My morning routine works so well because it's smooth, frictionless. There are no decisions to make. I even decide in advance what book I'm going to read.
I've decided to treat my creativity the same way - as well as picking a specific time of the week, I've also decided in advance what I'll be working on.
Obviously I'm not expecting this to sink in right away. There will be setbacks, my ADHD will definitely make me research the mating habits of the T-rex one day, but the trick is not to let this derail my entire system. I need to give myself grace to move on. Shit happens, but shit doesn't have to make me give up entirely, hence the back-up time I've given myself.
Now, I'm not pretending that I've discovered some sort of magic cure to getting me out of my creative rut, this is very much still in "experiment" phase, but hopefully you'll continue to see more YouTube videos and blogs on a consistent basis, which will show my system is working, at least for now.
With all this in mind, perhaps you can also do a similar experiment for yourself? Here's a few questions to ask yourself to get the ball rolling:
Is there something you keep telling yourself you want to do, but think you don't have the time or energy?
What are you doing with your time instead?
Where could you reserve a realistic block of time for yourself?
What decisions could you make beforehand to remove as much friction as possible?
When could your "backup" creative time be?
There's always something we could be doing less of, less scrolling, less pointless busywork, less researching what Stegosauruses ate for breakfast.
Maybe you don't need more time. You just need to decide what gets it.
