How to Let Go of Embarrassing Moments and Stop Overthinking
Stop Overthinking: How to Let Go of What Others Think
Do you ever find yourself replaying a conversation in your head, analysing what you said, what the person thought of you or things you could or should have said differently? Wondering what the person thinks of you and worried you've made a total arse of yourself? We've all been there, right? Wasting time worrying about things that are out of our control, things that we allow headspace instead of just letting ourselves relax! What if you could let go of these sorts of thoughts, freeing yourself up to focus on things that truly matter (that Animal Crossing island isn't going to decorate itself you know!)? Read on to find useful, actionable advice on how to stop caring so much about what other people think, how to free your life from things that really don't matter and relieve the pressure to feel constantly available.
The Rumination Trap
We all find ourselves craving the approval of others, we care so much about their opinions that we often overlook our own. In actual fact, they're spending far less time thinking about us than we give them credit for! Think about when you yourself have been out with people, someone said something maybe a little weird, or something we didn't understand, do we go home ruminating over it for hours? Do we pick apart everything that person said and devote our waking hours to ridiculing them or criticising them? Do we bring it up the next time we see them? OR did we think about how we wish we'd worn the blue t-shirt instead of the green one, how we'd come up with some witty quip instead of blurting out random gibberish, or how we'd made a fool out of ourselves for not knowing which artist sung 'The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonight'?! Chances are, it's the latter! What does this tell us about what other people think about us? Quite a lot actually… it tells us that they don't think or care about us that much!
Questions to Ask When You're Spiralling
So, in order to stop ruminating on this until we're an anxious wreck of our former selves, ask yourselves these questions – if a friend said the same thing, would I think it was embarrassing? Did anyone react negatively (if not, it was probably all in your head)? Is there a lesson I can take away from this and apply next time I'm around people? Can I show myself the same kindness I would show a friend in this situation?
How to Break the Overthinking Loop
Beyond asking yourself these questions, there are also practical techniques you can use in the moment. Another thing that helps when you're stuck in that rumination loop (you know the one - where you're replaying the same awkward moment like it's your favourite murder documentary) is to interrupt the pattern. Our brains love familiar roads, even if those roads are a bit shit and full of potholes. So the key is to build some new ones.
Your Worry-Busting Toolkit
Here are a few gentle but effective ways to stop overthinking before it runs off with your sanity:
Do something physical. Seriously. Get up and move. Clean the kitchen counter, do some star jumps, stroke the cat (with consent). Movement signals to your brain that it's time to shift gears.
Name the thought. Literally say, "Oh, it's that 'I'm an embarrassment' thought again." Giving it a name separates you from the thought and reminds you it's just that - a thought. Not a fact.
Use a mental stop sign. Imagine a big red STOP sign whenever you catch yourself spiralling. Sounds silly, but it works. Visual cues can jolt you out of the loop.
Try a grounding technique - like 5-4-3-2-1. List 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, 1 you can taste (or just say "tea" for that last one and be done with it).
Schedule a "worry window". Give yourself ten minutes a day to worry on purpose. Write it all down, moan to yourself, go full dramatic monologue if you must. Then close the window and crack on with your life.
The trick isn't to never ruminate again - let's be honest, (especially) if you've got an ADHD/autistic brain like mine, it's kind of a hobby - but to catch yourself quicker and choose not to go down that rabbit hole every time. Overthinking doesn't make you more prepared, it just makes you more anxious.
Choose Peace Over Perfection
And the best bit? The more you practise pulling yourself out of those loops, the more peaceful your mind becomes. Like decluttering your mental inbox. And who doesn't want fewer tabs open in their brain?
So next time your brain starts rehashing that weird thing you said at brunch or wondering if that person really thinks you're a knob… pause. Breathe. Remember: you're not alone, you're not broken, and honestly? You're probably the only one still thinking about it.
Life's too short to waste it trying to rewrite conversations that are already in the past. Let the awkwardness go, give yourself a bit of grace, and maybe go decorate your Animal Crossing island instead. You deserve that mental space back.
You deserve peace. And the more you practise choosing it, the easier it gets. Pinky promise.
