How to Protect Your Peace from Rude People and Hurtful Opinions
When Words Hit Different
Have you ever read a message and felt your stomach drop? Maybe it was a snarky comment online, a passive-aggressive text, or a full-blown rant from someone who clearly needed a nap. Suddenly you're flooded with that hot, panicky energy - your brain scrambling for a comeback, your heart doing backflips, and your whole day derailed.
Sound familiar?
When someone comes at us with judgement, criticism, or just plain nastiness, it's natural to want to defend ourselves. We replay it in our heads, rewrite our replies a hundred times, or lie awake rehearsing what we should have said. But the truth is, trying to manage how others see us is a full-time job - and spoiler alert: it doesn't pay well.
This post is for those moments. The ones where you feel misunderstood, attacked, or dragged into drama that doesn't deserve your energy. Let's talk about how to not let other people's opinions take over your peace.
The Spiral of Justification
We also become super affected when someone has said something less than savoury about us. Someone sent you a nasty text message? Lashed out at you on social media? Then we have the uncontrollable need to justify why we said what we said, to defend ourselves with more remarks that - as experience has taught us - the person in question is just going to throw back in our face, with more nasty insults, resulting in us not being able to get off that downward spiral of anger, hurt, and regret. Day ruined, right?
The truth of the matter is, that person doesn't know us. They don't know about our struggles, our family life, our BRAINS. They cannot possibly understand what it's like to be us, so therefore their opinion is basically invalid. Sure, you might think they made some decent points amongst the insults, but at the end of the day, none of that matters - their judgements are irrelevant. Often they make criticisms based on their own experiences, judgements, and their own insecurities, which ultimately says more about them than it does about you.
How to Actually Stop Caring (Or Care Less)
This is all very well said and done, but how do we actually stop caring less about what they think about us (or what we THINK they think about us)? How do we reframe the criticism and try to stop taking things so personally?
For a start, we can ask ourselves: "Would I take advice from this person?" Chances are, the answer is an emphatic "no" - in which case, we shouldn't be letting their opinion shape our self-worth.
Secondly, you can focus on your own values and beliefs, without the need for external validation. You know yourself better than anyone else ever will, and that's all that matters. Try journalling about these things - getting it down on paper can help you to see things more clearly, and it'll be something to refer back to when similar events occur in the future. Pen and paper is a remarkably effective tool.
The Control Illusion
Lastly, let's talk about control. Because a lot of this really boils down to that - our desperate attempt to control how we're seen, what people think, how they respond. And spoiler alert: we can't. We can only control our actions, our words, our intentions… not how they're received. That part is out of our hands. Once you really accept that, it's a bit of a relief, to be honest. Like dropping a heavy rucksack you didn't realise you were carrying.
It's not about never caring at all - that's not realistic, and let's face it, some people are absolute tools, and it's natural to feel things. But we don't need to keep carrying those things around with us. You can acknowledge the feeling ("yep, that comment stung a bit"), and then let it drift past like a cloud instead of building a whole storm around it. That's where the peace comes in - not from never being affected, but from letting go quicker and reclaiming your energy.
What Actually Helps (When You're Spiralling)
Here are a few little practices that help me when I feel myself spiralling:
Take a breath and pause before reacting to a message or comment. Sometimes silence is your most powerful response.
Do a brain dump journal session - even if it's messy or full of swear words. Let it out.
Move your body. Go for a walk, do some stretches, dance like a knobhead in your kitchen. Getting out of your head helps more than you'd think.
Set boundaries. You don't owe anyone an explanation, your time, or access to your peace. Especially not people who've shown they can't respect it.
Get comfy with being misunderstood. You don't need to explain yourself to people committed to misunderstanding you.
You're Human, Not a PR Spokesperson
So next time you find yourself lying awake at 2am cringing over something you said three days ago - remember this: you're human, not a PR spokesperson. You're allowed to make weird noises when you talk. You're allowed to say the wrong thing sometimes. You're allowed to be imperfect and still be entirely loveable.
The more you practise letting go, the easier it becomes. Like a muscle, or like weeding out your brain garden (and trust me, some of those weeds have deep roots). But with time, patience, and maybe the occasional Animal Crossing break, you can make space for peace. Real, proper peace - the kind that isn't disturbed every time someone rolls their eyes at you.
And honestly? That's the sort of peace we all deserve.
The Bottom Line
Here's the thing: you're not a mind-reader, a people-pleaser, or a punching bag. You don't exist to be liked by everyone. You exist to live your life - messy, beautiful, imperfect - and to protect your energy from the nonsense that tries to suck it away.
So next time someone decides to lob a grenade into your inbox or leave you feeling like you need to explain yourself, pause. Breathe. And remember: not everything deserves your attention, your reaction, or your rage-typed paragraph you'll later regret.
You don't need to win every argument. You don't need to justify your choices to someone who doesn't see the full picture. And you definitely don't need to keep carrying around the weight of someone else's bad mood.
Let them think what they want. You've got better things to do.
(Like Animal Crossing. Or dancing like a knobhead in your kitchen. Or just… not giving a shit. That too.)
