Spending Less Time Online Isn't Enough

I've known for a long time that I've been spending too much time on the internet doing pointless crap, and every time I do it, it makes me feel absolutely dreadful. So why can't I stop? Something needs to be done, and it needs to be done now.

I don't want to reach the end of my life having regrets about not taking part in real life and having watched other people live their own lives without living mine.

I have already made some changes. I deleted social media from my phone, which I don't really miss, and I feel mentally lighter for not spending vacuous hours scrolling through ridiculous, time-sucking Shorts. My screen time has dropped significantly, from about two hours a day to about 30 minutes a day.

I've also implemented a pocket notebook system which I've consistently been using for over a month now, and that feels really good.

The problem is, I assumed that if I spent less time online, I would automatically start doing more of the things I actually care about.

That hasn't happened.

Instead, I'm finding other vacuous crap to fill my time with. I'll organise my drawers, rearrange things that don't really need rearranging, or get caught up in pointless tasks that don't need to be accomplished right now, if at all.

I'm still going to bed feeling unproductive and unfulfilled and then beating myself up about it.

At the same time, the internet has found its way back in other ways.

I've been trying to curate a wardrobe which reflects who I am in my current season of life while getting rid of things that don't really suit me anymore. But I have ADHD, so apparently I can't just decide I need one piece of clothing, look for it for five minutes and buy it.

I have to look at 100 similar items, find the same thing at a cheaper price, research different clothing brands and materials and look at aesthetics on Pinterest. Something that should take five minutes can turn into an enormous research project, which completely contradicts the minimalist, anti-consumerist lifestyle I'm aiming for!

Email has crept back in too, despite swearing I'd only check it once a day.

I deleted YouTube from my phone, but I still use it on my TV in the evenings. I enjoy watching videos where I feel like I'm learning something, but then I don't actually do anything with the information I've learned.

While I do my morning Pilates, I listen to The Minimalists podcast. To be fair, I have learned some very useful things from it, and it's given me a lot of food for thought and talking points with my family.

But there comes a point where consuming information about living differently isn't the same thing as actually living differently.

So why do I keep reaching for my phone?

The simple answer is that it's easy.

There is literally no friction to picking up my phone and scrolling through my emails or looking on Vinted.

Compare that with drawing.

I have to find my sketchbook, find the relevant pencils, think of something to draw, then realise I don't know where my rubber or pencil sharpener is, and then realise I'm too stressed out to draw now anyway.

Crochet is the same. I need to find the right size hook, find the wool and remember the pattern.

You get the picture.

Phone equals easy. Hobbies equals hard.

So I've decided to try to make my hobbies easier.

I'm going to keep a sketchbook and pencils together, along with some prompts of things I want to draw. I'll keep the wool and crochet hook I need with the written pattern for granny squares so I can pick them up and carry on with my blanket without having to find everything first.

These will go in what I've nicknamed my analogue basket.

It will also include my philosophy magazine, commonplace book and a non-fiction book.

The point isn't what's actually in the basket. It's to make the things I want to do as easy to reach for as possible, while making my phone slightly less convenient by putting it somewhere else, such as in another room.

I'm also going to use the time limits on my phone. For apps I genuinely need, such as email, I'll try a 10-minute limit and do my best not to simply move to another device when the time runs out.

When I'm researching something, I'll set a timer so that if my mind has wandered down another rabbit hole, I have something to pull me back.

I also want to make time to reflect on what I've learned in my commonplace book and Field Notes notebook, so I'm actually using the information I'm gathering rather than just collecting more of it.

Because ultimately, I don't just want a lower screen-time number.

I want my days to contain more of the things I love: drawing, crochet, reading, photography, commonplace writing, learning about philosophy and other interesting things, writing, creating things and spending quality time with my family.

At the end of each day, I would like to feel like I've done something I actually wanted my life to contain.

If I've spent time with my family, read or learned something new, drawn something, taken and edited photographs, written something or made something, then I will feel like I have spent my day well.